


traded away

by remusroses



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hockey AU, M/M, Sweater weather, coast to coast fic, lumosinlove, ocs by lumosinlove !!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:42:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26013553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remusroses/pseuds/remusroses
Summary: Logan didn’t mean to go through Leos stuff without asking.That wasn’t a thing either of them did, they trusted each other, and it was not like there were many secrets they held from each other.Instead, they were open and honest, and Logan really wasn’t used to it but they communicated.All he was looking for, was his hat, the one that Leo wore more than himself these days. He was having a bad day. He knew it smelled like Leo’s shampoo, and he wanted to wear it.But he couldn’t find it anywhere.No matter where in the closets he looked, it was gone. Then he spotted his worn out backpack in the corner of the bedroom, the one Leo always took everywhere, and which held quite some things he deemed important to always carry around.It must be in there, Logan had thought.Well… it wasn’t. But when he pulled out some things to look further, something caught his eye.It was the logo of the Lions Organisation.- or Leo gets possibly traded to another team
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, leo x logan x finn, o'knutzy - Relationship, wolfstar - Relationship
Kudos: 25





	traded away

**Author's Note:**

> Again, this is based off a prompt i got on tumblr! you can find me at @paulian03, if you wanna send me prompts or chat :)  
> I also probably post more frequently on there, soo.
> 
> This is a good bit of angst, but its lots of love too <3 i hope you enjoy!!

Logan didn’t mean to go through Leos stuff without asking. 

That wasn’t a thing either of them did, they trusted each other, and it was not like there were many secrets they held from each other. 

Instead, they were open and honest, and Logan really wasn’t used to it but they communicated. 

All he was looking for, was his hat, the one that Leo wore more than himself these days. He was having a bad day. He knew it smelled like Leo’s shampoo, and he wanted to wear it. 

But he couldn’t find it anywhere. 

No matter where in the closets he looked, it was gone. Then he spotted his worn out backpack in the corner of the bedroom, the one Leo always took everywhere, and which held quite some things he deemed important to always carry around.

It must be in there, Logan had thought.

Well… it wasn’t. But when he pulled out some things to look further, something caught his eye. 

It was the logo of the Lions Organisation.

Frowning, he straightened the folded up paper, eyes flying over the written words. First, he just did it because he didn’t think much of it, because he thought it was a random information letter like telling them about upcoming information.

Until he got stuck on the words, and stumbled over them, and his breath got caught somewhere between his lungs and his throat. 

Possible. Trade. Mr Knut. Informing. Meeting.

The letter was from two weeks ago. 

He almost stumbled trying to stand up so fast, reaching for his phone in his pocket, just to not find it. He tapped all of his jeans pockets, just to not find anything. His hands were starting to shake, more and more with every second that passed. 

Where was Leo? Grocery shopping. With Finn. They had seen he had been down, and they had wanted to buy some stuff to cook while he relaxed. 

To put it lightly, he was definitely not relaxed right now. 

He didn’t even know what exactly he was feeling. Shock was definitely on the top of the list, the dread of what was standing in the letter only slowly settling on his bone, sinking into his skin, held back by the perplexity of the whole situation. 

He hadn’t told them. If he didn’t know, then neither did Finn. No one on the team knew. 

Was he going to be traded?? The letter was only talking about possibilities, about discussions, about meetings, about the dark looming of maybe. 

He found his phone lying on the bed, immediately dialling both Finn and Leo. None of them, their chirpy voicemails sounding like a laugh in his face, ironic, and wrong. 

He ended the calls without leaving a message. 

Sitting down on the bed, he smoothed the paper out again. It had been hidden in this backpack, like it was just another piece of paper, and not something that held life-changing potential, that looked like no if it were a letter. 

Had Leo seemed different? No. Not really. But then again, if he didn’t want anyone to see he felt different, he could hide his feelings very damn well. Merde, goalies. 

He looked at it, stark white paper with stark, black lettering. 

The shock was slowly dissolving, leaving more space for the feelings that were not only flooding his heart, but his head too. It started pounding. 

Ravenclaw? Leo wasn’t a Ravenclaw. And how far was that?? Too far. 

Everything was too far. Everywhere too painful to even think too much about. What… what would that even mean?

He would have to move away, away and out of their apartment and away from him, him and Finn. Them.

His heart started racing, and he jumped up, pacing the room. They could come home any minute. They would see him, freaking out, and he would probably freak out even more. 

He couldn’t do that. He couldn’t see them right now. Not with the pain that was slowly tearing through his insides.

Before he was granted a decision though, he heard the lock turning, laughing from out the hallway creeping inside. It was warm, and it made him sick. 

He had already slipped into his shoes when they came into the bedroom. 

“Tremz, what-”

Leo smiled, but then he saw the paper in Logans hand, and his face, and the smile dropped. It dropped so fast that Logan contemplated even having seen it. 

“What are you doing?”, Finn asked, confused by their reactions. 

Leo was wearing the hat. His hat. Of course, he was. 

Logans throat started burning painfully. Leo’s face was crumbling, he could watch it fall, and he saw the look in his eyes, and he just- couldn’t believe it. 

“Here”, he barely choked out, taking the letter and pressing it to Finns chest almost forcefully, causing it to crumble slightly.

He didn’t wait for him to read it. The tears in his eyes were burning like acid, and he stared into Leo’s. They were always so calm and collected. He could see nothing of that now.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell us”, he whispered, and it sounded way more shaky, way more teary than he would have liked. He wanted to sound angry, and he wanted to be angry. All he was, was devastated.

He pushed past them and left the apartment.

-

When he arrived at Hogwarts, he approached, trying to sort his thoughts. His phone started ringing. He didn’t look who it was and ignored it.

-

He didn’t see the stuff in the locker room, so when he arrived at the rink, skates on and ready to let out some steam so he could maybe call Finn back and say something, anything. 

But he couldn’t call back, he couldn’t look them in the eyes because then it would become real. Maybe he had hit his head on the ice and it was all a bad dream, not actually true. 

Captain was on the ice. With Loops.

“Tremz?”, Sirius called out, surprised, and stopped where he was skating in front of the goal. 

Logan froze. He stared at him. Cap. 

“You, you knew about this, didn’t you?”, he said, quietly. Sirius obviously didn’t fully understand, acoustically or else, because he frowned. 

“What-”

Logan swung himself on the ice and skated over, fast, pressing his hand to Sirius’ chest. 

“You’ve got to have known, you… merde, tu es-”

Sirius looked down at the hand on his chest in mild surprise, until his eyes flashed with understanding, and Logan knew. Knew that he had known. Of course, he had.

“Logan-”

“Shut up!!,” Logan yelled, with more force than he would’ve thought possible. 

“Fucking shut up. I don’t wanna hear it. What the fuck??”

Sirius’ brows were knit together, and he took a long breath. 

“This is not- Logan, this is not my call, and it is not my duty to tell you”, he said calmly, and Logan felt like this was worse than Captain just flat on punching him in the face.

Because he was right. But it hurt so bad. He didn’t even know what hurt more. The fact that Leo might get traded, or that he had known that and not told him. He didn’t understand. 

“What, and you’re just not gonna do anything? Is he not good enough?”, Logan spat out, just because he didn’t know what to do other than get angry.

If he didn’t get angry, he would cry. He couldn’t. 

Sirius’ face got stone cold in a heartbeat. “You know that’s not true, Logan. Fuck saying that.”

He came closer, but Logan didn’t back up. He stared up into Sirius’ eyes coolly.

“You don’t know what I’m doing and not doing. But from some point on, I have no say, and you know that.”

Logan backed away, tilting his chin up to look at the bright ceiling, the led-lights blinding the longer he looked.

Then he looked down. The ice under his skates, so familiar. For years.

It was the ice that countless amounts of skates had sped over, had carved into. He had thought about that ice before he had skated on it, about how it was now Finn’s home. And then it had become his own. He had cried on it, and laughed, and bled, too. Every day, his passion went through his body and right into it. 

He had chased Leo on it, during training pauses, when they had just joked around. He had teased him standing in the goal, skating around it, and when he couldn’t hold it back anymore, Leo’s laugh had echoed over this, exact, ice.

The past months had been kisses, and smiles, and so much love that Logan had often thought it was too good to be true. Maybe it had been.

This ice was home, to all of them.

He didn’t even realise his view was blurring. A single, hot tear fell on the ice. It was so quiet that it echoed through his head, loud like a bomb.

“Hey, Logan”, came the whispered voice of Remus, and he dragged his head up slowly, looking into the warm eyes, the arms slowly opening. 

His lip started trembling, and he flung himself into the hug.

“Do you need a shoulder to cry on? Everyone does sometimes, eh”, 

Remus murmured, and he pressed his face into the soft sweater, sobbing shortly. “Oui”, he barely breathed out. 

“I’m so egoistic”, he choked out, tears sinking into Remus’ clothed shoulder. He rubbed his back.

This wasn’t just about him and how he felt. Sometimes he got so overwhelmed, that he forgot that. 

But it wasn’t him that would maybe have to leave. It was Leo. Leo, who would possibly not only have to move away from him and Finn, but from the whole team. From their family.

“If you weren’t a little mad, I think it would be weird, non?”, Sirius said softly, patting his head just a little awkwardly. Logan sobbed once, then pulled away from the hug and rubbed his eyes. 

“Sorry, sorry guys. Merde.”

But neither of them looked angry. They just smiled a little, and 

Remus rubbed his arm, shaking his head. 

“Ce n'est pas grave”, Sirius added, before his eyes wandered off a little bit and he smiled. 

“Maybe you should talk to someone else, though.”

-

When he turned around, they were leaning against the opposite wall. Both of them. 

Both of their eyes were rendered red, and even though Leo had his arms crossed and a relatively neutral expression on his face, there was no mistaking that he had cried too. 

They were all mirror images of each other. And still not even remotely the same.

“Let’s go outside”, Finn said into the quiet. He agreed.

-

They stood outside, and it was drizzling rain a little, but they didn’t bother with it. It was warm enough. 

“I… I couldn’t tell you”, Leo started, after they had just stood there, in silence. Heavy silence. For a long, sheer endless moment.

“Because then it would’ve become a real possibility. And I don’t want it to be.”

He reached up to fiddle with the little adjustment strap on the hat, and Logan remembered again. He bit his lip. He would never want it back, if Leo would promise to wear it forever. 

Only when his hand came back down, saw Logan that it was shaking. 

“I…” Leo’s voice broke, and with it Logans heart. By the look of it, Finns too.

“I love you. So much. I don’t want to leave”, he pressed out, like the words were hard to even say out loud, and tears filled his eyes. Blue, like the sky on a cloudless day, shining.

He looked so young then, in that moment. And scared. 

They pulled him in their arms at the same time, and he held the other boys so close that he was sure they couldn’t breath very long, neither could he. But if he would’ve died in their arms, then he would have been fine with it.

“Oh, baby, we love you too”, Finn whispered, crying. Logan swallowed down a small sob.

“More than anything in the world, Knutty. That wont change. No matter where you are”, he murmured firmly. Maybe he had to make it clear to himself too.

Change could fucking suck. But it didn’t have to mean the end. He wouldn’t let it.

“Yeah?”, Leo whispered, snuggling closer.

“Oui, mon amour.”

-

They went home together. They cooked (they watched Leo cook), they watched a movie, listened to their favourite music and danced like goofs. They cuddled.

It was like a normal day. Except it wasn’t.

But even if Leo was to be traded, they knew that there was more to life than just hockey, no matter how important it was, and how much space it took up in it. 

There was laughing, and crying, and love. On the ice, their ice, and off it. There was kissing until your lips were numb, and screaming lyrics until your voice was hoarse.

There was blue eyes, and brown ones, red hair and blonde, and it all mixing together in a beautiful mess of feelings, so intense that Logan, still, sometimes couldn’t believe he got to experience.

“Might get to wear these sick jerseys, at least, eh?”, Finn grinned, snuggling closer

“It would match great with your eyes, babe”, Logan added with a smirk.

Leo huffed out a small laugh, and leant over to kiss both him and Finn once. Tender.

“Good night”, he whispered.

\----

Thank you so much for reading!! :)) 

(youre v welcome to leave a comment or some kudos too ;) )


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